Long time no see! I apologize for the lack of a blog
post last week; I finally got a bout of travel sickness and spent a couple of
days resting and rehydrating. I assure you that I am back to 110% and am taking
some antibiotics, just to ensure that I stay healthy. Today, I feel as though I
could run a marathon and ascend the peak of Mount Everest =)
Despite my falling ill, my fifth week still had
exciting adventures and precious moments. One of the moments that I will hold
dear happened on that Sunday: I got to
see an American friend from McAfee. She is also fulfilling her contextual
ministry placement in South Asia this summer and happened to be in Kathmandu
with her team for a couple of days. It was so good to see a friend and familiar
face! We’ve been doing our placements for about the same length of time, so we
were able to process a little of what we’ve seen this summer in light of the
books we have to read and the papers we have to write. We also just got to laugh,
which is always good for the heart.
I must admit that something she asked me challenged
me. She asked a simple question, one I am sure many of you will ask me upon my
return: “What is God teaching you this
summer?” I sat, completely at a loss for words; I had no idea. I mean, I know I
am learning about all of the administrative responsibilities involved in
running a business and the importance of great communication, but I could not
think of anything theologically profound that God is teaching me. I also admit
that I had not taken the time in my prayers to ask God what He’s teaching me.
It is something I am making a point to ask God now. I do not think my friend
realizes how much her question challenged me to seek God more in these
remaining days, and I am thankful that she took the time to ask.
The next day, I met with the shop family for
breakfast and then went home to sleep. It was not until the next day that the
sickness hit me again. Because of that, I did not go to the salon for more than
a small amount of time that week.
While I was ill, I had ample time to reflect on my
ministry here (or watch a movie when my brain was just too tired to
think). Upon some reflection and prayer,
I came to a couple of conclusions:
I
am angry. I am angry about the poverty I see and how little I can do about it. I am angry at the
corruption in the government. I am angry at the systemic problems
I see. I am angry about how some of the foreigners treat the Nepali people. I am angry
at the lack of access to good education. I am angry at the injustice I
see. I am just angry. And in spite of that anger, I love the people here,
even the people who cause suffering in ignorant ways. I know that it is not healthy to stay in an angry mindset, but I also know my
anger is justified. That being
said, angry people don’t evoke change; genuinely compassionate ignite it.
God
calls me to love, despite and in spite of my anger. I know that seems so obvious a task for
a missionary, but love is one of the hardest things to do, yet is the most crucial
component of the Gospel. As I wrestled with God about my anger and about
God’s calling for me this summer, I felt as though God gave me a powerful word. I share
it with you now as if sharing a piece of my heart; the moments
I share with God in my prayer journal are precious and sacred to me, but I feel a strong conviction to
share it with you now. I also share it with you nervously; I know that I
am human and cannot fathom or interpret the ideas of God. I also do not claim to hear from
God this clearly often; sometimes, you just have
to trust: “I called you to love. That is always My first call for
you. Do you think I do not
know how it feels to love those who do not love others? Look at this world! I created
and love everything that takes in breath. Still, they kill out of hatred, steal out
of spite, and slander out of jealousy. Yet I love them all, even and especially the prodigals. It
causes Me great pain, but I love them.” My next question remains unanswered still: how do you deal with the pain of loving people
who don’t show love to others? That, I think, requires a grace that is beyond human comprehension.
Yes, those are only two points, but they are full of
deeper questions for me to wrestle with this summer and for many years to come.
I think they are points that anyone desiring to do poverty alleviation in a
developing country needs to wrestle with, too.
I was so happy to go to church on Saturday; I didn’t
get to go the previous week and I missed it greatly. It was so good to see my
friends and catch up; one of them just finished her undergraduate thesis,
another worked long shifts at the hospital. It was just great to see them =)
Monday, I got to speak with a friend back home for a
little while. She is the friend from school who lived in Nepal for a time. It
was good catch up and talk about Nepal, adjusting to life back in America, and
just laugh and joke. After a season of not feeling well and wrestling with
those hard ideas, it was wonderful to talk with a close friend =) After our
conversation, I reveled in my restored health and spent the day exploring
places I had walked through before but had not taken the time to stop and
really look. I saw children playing futball, ate a samosa at a small Nepali
café, and walked through winding streets full of shop vendors. It was so
wonderful to see more of daily life in Kathmandu.
I also got to spend time with my shop keeper family
on Monday. Their son is on holiday this week; his school just finished exams.
He is so happy to have time to play and his parents are happy that he did well
on his exams. I failed to mention in my previous posts about them that their
son is the top student in his class. I’ve seen him work on his homework, and I
understand why he is the top in his class. He is smart on his own, but his
parents encourage him to reach his full potential and help him with his
homework. They invest in him in a way that is beautiful, and I am honored to
watch and even be a part of it. On day, he let me check his math homework =)
It’s humbling and exciting to be welcomed into this family.
It was so good to see the girls at the salon after
not seeing them for almost a week. I was also glad to get to know one of the
employees better. Last week, the shop owner hired a new beautician and she is
in the middle of training with us right now. She is a very sweet girl who has
come from a very awful working condition. We hope that she will be a good fit
for the salon and learn quickly.
Business at the salon is picking up, which is a huge
answer to prayer. More people are finding out about the services we offer and
the quality of those services. I am confident that New Creation will be a
strong business and ministry.
Not too much over the past few weeks, but the things
that did happen were so worthwhile. This week, I would covet your prayers
deeply. Thursday, I am accompanying a friend and a team from YWAM to a village
outside of the Kathmandu valley. We will return Saturday or Sunday. I am SO
excited to see a little of village life and to see what life outside of the
city is like. I am also nervous because I have no idea what I’m going to be
doing. I know it will be good, whatever we do =) That being said, I’d really
appreciate prayers for confidence, health, and assurance for myself and the
team that is going. Also, please pray for us to have compassionate ears to
listen and loving words to speak (when necessary).
At this point, I am counting days, not weeks, until
I return to the U.S. (16, for those wondering) and it is such a surreal
feeling. I know I am going to be sad to leave this place, but I do not want to
start saying good-bye yet. Thank you for your continued prayers and support;
they mean more than you can imagine.
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